Multi-tasking, but missing out

Kristin from over at Halfway to Normal recently posted about how difficult it is to be a parent these days (Parenting from the old gut in a new world.)  In the article, she referenced a Stanford University study on Multitasking and shared this quote:

When we media multitask, we’re not really paying attention to the people around us and we get in a habit of not paying attention, and thus when I’m talking with you, I may be hearing the words but I’m missing all the rich, critical, juicy stuff at the heart of emotional and social life. – Researcher Clifford Nass

Now, I’m not a tween and I’m not a parent, but I am terrible about multi-tasking. I think and feel like I can do multiple things at once, but in reality, I am missing out on a lot of relationship building.

The person who has suffered the most at the hands of my incessent multi-tasking is my husband.  We’ll be watching television and I’ll stop to check facebook during a commercial and I miss a question.  He drops by my office and I keep trying to read whatever article is up and listen to him at the same time and I really zone out on both.  I didn’t realize how bad I had become at this until he recently left the office because he had asked me a question and I never responded.  Doh!

I am making a new commitment to myself.  When I’m spending time with my husband, the phone is going to be left alone.  When he stops in to visit, I’m going to either let him know I am busy and can’t talk or I’m going to give him my undivided attention.

Relationships are too hard and too important for us to do them halfway.  And I for one, am not ready to miss out on all the “rich, critical, juicy stuff.”

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